
“Is replacing someones shampoo with Nair too evil?”

“I bought American Apparel underwear. Now I just need a girl to wear them.”

“What’s the proper milk to cereal ratio?”

“The only ten you are is on a PH scale ‘cause bitch you basic.”

“Croquembouche. She’s so pretentious. It’s a fucking cake.”

“Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin’, they hatin’.”
“Trash the hotel –
let’s get drunk on the mini bar.”
“You can’t be gay
because that’s gay.”

“Probably my favorite argument.”