“I’m naked. I’m the boss.”

“Since I can’t have my best friend,
 I would like to date Carrie Fletcher.”  

{ Because yes, Amy. If you can’t date
someone you’ve known your whole
life, you sure as hell can get some
girl from another country who
doesn’t even know you exist. }

“So – A girl gets dumped and
 spends an entire week at KFC…
 Same, babe. Same.”

          “My mom made me watch ‘But I’m
           A Cheerleader’ in hopes it would
           change me – Clearly she should
           have watched the movie beforehand.
           I think it actually made me gayer.”